that first time I walked in a church...
It's been over six months since I've lived in this city and I'm just starting to realize that the people I've become friendly with are people who attend church and people who pray. I've never really discussed "God" or my religion with others when I lived in California. Honestly, it's new to me and I'm having trouble describing how I really feel. As I write in this blog, I am slowly trying to organize my thoughts about whether I am religious.
In my younger years, I have attended many Buddhist prayer sessions, sat on the floor like every other Buddhists, moving each prayer beads one by one while reciting the mantras like I was taught to. I never really understood what the prayers meant or why it was important to pray. I also never recall having discussions with my parents about what it means to be a Buddhist.
Then there was one time when I was invited by a friend's family to attend Sunday church. I was probably 14 or 15 years old. At first I didn't think it was big deal to walk into a church where the adults were listening to a priest giving a sermon in one room and the kids in another room with a classroom style setting reading and discussing the Bible. Looking back, it was apparently a difficult task for me to be in a church.
I clearly remember walking in the church with my friend and as her mom went where the adults were, she and I started walking towards the classroom. I felt unease and nervous as we got closer and closer to the classroom, and before I knew it, I was still walking past the classroom and out the back door into the parking lot. My friend didn't realize that I was no longer behind her.
I guess I wasn't aware of how out-of-place I would feel being in a church and/or being in a room with crosses and Jesus statues.
It may seem like I am against religions other than Buddhist. However, now that I think back on the days I've attended prayer sessions or have exclusively sat in the same room with a monk who was blessing my parents and I, it's because of the lifestyle that I've become used to. It's how I was raised.
Attending a church was not something I had ever done in my life and it wasn't because I was closed minded about different religions but it was how little I knew and how I wasn't mentally prepared for it. I think even at this point in my life, I choose to not really be involved in any religion. I have nothing against those who are religious and those who choose to pray or meditate. I respect them for their beliefs.
Does that make me ignorant? Arrogant?
In my younger years, I have attended many Buddhist prayer sessions, sat on the floor like every other Buddhists, moving each prayer beads one by one while reciting the mantras like I was taught to. I never really understood what the prayers meant or why it was important to pray. I also never recall having discussions with my parents about what it means to be a Buddhist.
Then there was one time when I was invited by a friend's family to attend Sunday church. I was probably 14 or 15 years old. At first I didn't think it was big deal to walk into a church where the adults were listening to a priest giving a sermon in one room and the kids in another room with a classroom style setting reading and discussing the Bible. Looking back, it was apparently a difficult task for me to be in a church.
I clearly remember walking in the church with my friend and as her mom went where the adults were, she and I started walking towards the classroom. I felt unease and nervous as we got closer and closer to the classroom, and before I knew it, I was still walking past the classroom and out the back door into the parking lot. My friend didn't realize that I was no longer behind her.
I guess I wasn't aware of how out-of-place I would feel being in a church and/or being in a room with crosses and Jesus statues.
It may seem like I am against religions other than Buddhist. However, now that I think back on the days I've attended prayer sessions or have exclusively sat in the same room with a monk who was blessing my parents and I, it's because of the lifestyle that I've become used to. It's how I was raised.
Attending a church was not something I had ever done in my life and it wasn't because I was closed minded about different religions but it was how little I knew and how I wasn't mentally prepared for it. I think even at this point in my life, I choose to not really be involved in any religion. I have nothing against those who are religious and those who choose to pray or meditate. I respect them for their beliefs.
Does that make me ignorant? Arrogant?
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