She Meets Life

I've been labeled as an American. I hear it from my roommate's..my friends...and now...my family. I don't mind being called an american but what bothers me the most is the negative connotation it has when they call me american. what's up with that? What's wrong with being American? The thing is...I don't purposely do things that make me "American". It's my surroundings. The only way i can survive is by "fitting in"...and when I do "fit in", I guess i become  "American"!! to be continued..

I'm not as simple as i thought i was. I say one thing and do another. I pretend everything is okay when it's not. I touch but i can't feel. I listen but can't hear. Someone i'm close to recently said i'm complicated. when I try to be simple, everyone makes it complicating. "I'm still reeling from a loss. Still a little bit delirious." "They say that time heals but it still hurts inside." I'm moving this month to my sister's place. "saving money" is the purpose of this action. *sigh*

To objectify is to present as an object especially of sight, touch, or other physical sense.  To be a woman in a man's world is tough...it's challenging. However, it's never wrong to think...is it tough for a man to live in one too?  Why do I bother to talk about this? one. I am majoring in Hospitality Management and from what I've learned...it's one of the largest industry with male managers supervising female subordinates. two. i think it's an interesting topic to discuss/think about. It will always remain controversial. I speak fairly and with respect to both sexes equally. Equally..hmm...do we live in a world of equality? I think not.  I must firmly admit in many circumstances, women are treated substantially different than men. How so? We are treated as objects by men. Men continuously use women as a consolation prize, ranking woman's appearances, competing against their peer with whom they have slept with or whom they consider as a "toy." ...

I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream Should have know you'd bring me heartache almost lovers always do So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that easy to walk  right in and out of my life?

why do we need to write in blogs? would you love someone even if they didn't love you? Why do we say we don't want to hurt the ones we love but end up hurting them in the end anyway? I'm definitely at a crossroads. I've begun to question my friends...family...loved ones. I can't seem to understand people. Will I ever? recently..someone told me.."everybody wants to be loved." Does that mean be with the person that you love even if you can't reciprocate the feelings? Is that an excuse for cheating on someone? I have a friend...or i guess i had a friend who told me that he couldn't tell me a secret because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. he considered me as his "best friend". IS that a valid reasoning for not telling me?? "because i didn't want to hurt you"... B.S. I would be hurt regardless, it's the matter of time...It's like stabbing me unless it's pulled out the pain continues to build up and the...

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like no-one's watching. Sing like no-one's listening. Live like there's no tomorrow. Fear like a stone.

this world is corrupted. who to blame? it's hard to say. but I guess we can start with self...because who is living in this world? we are... we are to blame for this corrupted world. I hate it. we can only be selfish to create happiness. and yes. It's hard no doubt. Buddhism talks about not being selfish..helping others and other crap but when the majority of the people living in this corrupted world is selfish you can't help but be like the rest. How do we get out of it? the only way is to isolate from it. But you'll just be labeled the outsider. emotions run through my veins causing me to say this. hehe... take it easy lhads. this too shall pass. 

Let's go back to these times. 私の心は、私が他の女の子と彼を参照してください痛い。 しかし、私は権利を怒っする必要はありません。

hello guys, it's been a while. I've been preoccupied with many things. I'll start out with school cuz that's excusable for not updating my blog. lol Summer school is goin' by quicker than i thought. 4hr classes. 2 classes. 5weeks. on top of that there's my job. which is not as stressful as i thought it'd be but having to wake up early as 7:30am when you've only gotten 3-4hrs of sleep the night before is challenging. Because not only does it ruin my sleeping routine but my whole day is wasted by either trying to catch up with sleep or doing something completely unproductive. I don't know why I've been acting like this. I was fine the first week of school. I wasn't distracted at all.. something hit me. Is it him that's bothering me?? I'm scared that the relationship that i want with him end out to be being back to strangers...Life can't always be the way you want it to be but just this once...i wish i could be by his side onc...

It's one way.  No regrets.

I have so much to say. i want to pour it all out. But I'm at loss of words. It's at the tip of my tongue. I really want to say it...but i always contradict myself.

I'm addicted to sweet things. I'm not only talking in terms of food but also intangible things. I like to do nice things...look at nice things. Because the world is full of ugly things, I am only attracted to nice things. Is that a bad thing? The reason i bring this up is because people instantly become attracted to things that please their eyes. We tend to hide or run away from the ugly things. i just don't get it. I tell myself that everyone and everything has both pretty and ugly side to it. But honestly, i, myself, can't handle the ugly things in life. the society is corrupt.

Hello world. I'm back! I apologize for the looong silence. Things have been...it's been a roller coaster ride. In a way, everything relates to one another. I've been in school but lagging...being unproductive...it's not the usual me. Let's just say that the spring semester wasn't what I had expected. Forget the goals i was determined to achieve...I continued to postpone and procrastinate. Then...there was the last month of the semester when I met "him". I couldn't have been happier. It was obvious too. Everyone had seen it in my eyes...except him. Who knows? maybe he did see it..but he sure did take it much more lightly than I did. It seemed like it meant nothing to him. It seemed like what he gave me was what he did on a daily basis. How I felt never occurred to him. summer slowly creep-ed up...and without any realization, he was leaving soon. While he was passionately conversing and fantasizing about his future goals and leaving, I continu...

This is a crazy world These can be lonely times It's hard to know who's on your side Most of the time Who can you really trust Who do you really know Is there anybody out there Who can make you feel less alone Some times you just can't make it on your own Everybody needs somebody who They can pour their heart and soul into

just realized i haven't been writing since december...so sad. It's been pretty hectic the past few months...I turned 21. yeah it sounds exciting but i beginning to realize i have so many more responsibilities than i already have. It sure is a lot of work. Speaking of work. I'm getting tired of my job. It's not the pay but the experience i get out of it. I get paid well but i don't see this job helping me in the future. Maybe when i'm married and have kids..it will help but other than that...not much of help. are you wondering what kind of job i have??? I'm a nanny/sitter. been since my sophomore year of high school. I'm a junior in college. It's a differnt family of course since i moved in the city but i'm still watching kids...driving them to their lessons...feeding them...same thing everyday...it gets very repetitive. I love them no doubt but i need to get out of my comfort zone. I already know i'm afraid to be out there in the ...