Little did you know

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Out of the seven billion people on this planet, you happened to be the one.
the one who gave me reason to believe that everything would be alright.
the reason that I would make it through this long, dark tunnel.
the little light at the end of the tunnel didn't fade because of you.
you, of all people, gave me a ray of hope to keep moving forward.
you, of all people, motivated me to keep my head up and stand tall.
It was scary to imagine how I would be without you.
Part of me knew my insanity was because of being attached to you yet
I continued to use you as a motivation tool.

Hearing from you once a week was enough to get me going through the week.
I even used to be okay with your arrogant and ignorant responses.
I told myself "that's not how he is"..."he doesn't mean it."
Then I came to realize that I stooped so low to the point that even I didn't want myself.
Looking back, I was a fool who wanted nothing more than to be loved.
I was a fool to think you would reciprocate positively.

Little did you know that I was haunted by the memories
and underneath it all I was held captive by the hole inside.
I was holding back for the fear that you might change your mind.

but...

Days and weeks passed by without reaching out to you.
I have gradually learned to accept where I stand...


I forgive you and more importantly, I forgive myself.

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